past week
this week i was at scsc. it was real fun being with my semi-online friends. i didn't expect anything competing because i already knew i hadn't practiced at all and was probably the least knowledgeable person there so it was pretty chill not having to care too much about the competition. it was mostly just like a resort for me! it is a bit embarrasing though having so many people believe in me and to not even put any effort and getting this far just riding on the coattails of my friends. i think learning how to reverse engineer is the most reasonable choice for me as i brain diffed by crypto, pwn has too much competition and web is web... the internal image i have of rev is literally just sisyphus pushing. there's a lot of practice needed of course but i don't think it's as theoretical and more based on intuition and experience. i have started looking into resources, i'll probably update with progress in a week or so. maybe a bit premature to think about this but there is most likely no competition in rev next year for juniors so if i do end up getting good i probably have a good chance of going to ecsc. very cool.
also doing this fucked with my hanzihero though and i havent done new words in 4 days now!!!!!!!!!!! i did do some reviews but not all. i had to do 200 reviews today but the flow i had from before is totally ruined -_- i'll attach an image later
march 31, 2025
priscilla@xxxnoscopemlgxxx.com
retention rate
i think my retention rate of 94% retention rate is quite insane. when doing japanese i had like 70 - 80% on young cards using anki. when i was doing chinese anki it was at like, 50% retention. my friend who is also studying chinese is using anki and he's at around 50% retention too. i think the reason behind the high retention rate is that you have to type out pinyin and meaning for every card. it essentially adds 2 steps to the memorization process. very cool.
wat de hell
march 24, 2025
priscilla@xxxnoscopemlgxxx.com
hanzihero $$$
caved in and bought hanzihero... i don't think it's worth 15 usd (200 sek including vat!!!!) but arghhh i can't remember shit with anki for some reason and i couldn't find a comparable hanzi site. i think i'll milk it as much as i can and when my sub expires i'll just get migaku and make decks with anki. i've also ate out like 6 times this month, rip my money :)
march 23, 2025
priscilla@xxxnoscopemlgxxx.com
known words rn (migaku trial)
visitors from japan
i should really sleep :d
my school has some kind of partnership with several schools in japan. we usually get visitors a couple times a year, and students are allowed to hang out with them after school. i went last year, even though i didn't really interact with anyone besides one which ended up being really chill. he liked vocaloid and drew his own comics. very cool.
this time, two friends of mine are hosting one japanese student each. we hung out today but it was awkward talking to the japanese because of the language barrier. when one of the two japanese guys mentioned women, our conversation took a turn towards porn, and suddenly, they both opened up, enthusiastically talking about adult actresses. i knew the famous actress ai uehara (due to yakuza 0!!!) which riled them up even more. it was really funny to see how quickly their shyness faded away and porn was the thing we bonded over. my phone was dead the entire time so i didn't take any picture :( i will take one tomorrow and attach it.
march 18, 2025
priscilla@xxxnoscopemlgxxx.com
my lunch the day after
starting mandarin
for the past week i've been studying mandarin. i've wanted to learn it for a while, and with my recent phase of reading chinese webnovels, i have finally found the motivation to actually do it. the pace i'm learning at is quite slow. i've been doing hanzihero as it is very comfy and somehow more no-brain than anki. i don't really like it though, as it forces you to learn their component and sound mnemonics. today i am going to look for a good anki deck to do instead.
chinese feels very logical and beautiful. for example, a few days ago me and my friend were talking about 大家 and 人人. in the dictionary the listed translation for both is "everyone". after consulting mr. gpt-4o we learnt that 人人 puts emphasis on the individual, as if saying "every person", while 大家 addresses everyone in a collective sense. i felt that it made lots of sense as the characters for 人人 are "person person", while 大家 is "big family".
it feels like i might actually continue this for a while, unlike japanese which felt like a chore i didn't want to do.
march 18, 2025
priscilla@xxxnoscopemlgxxx.com
as of now i know 74 words :D
うんこうんこ personal blog
text below was just something i wrote for the page and wasn't intended to be a blog post. i actually didn't intend to make a blog but i wanted to write about other stuff and i guess this fits better here.
the life i live is by no standard measure of success, considered good, and i would say most people wouldn't think of it as very fulfilling. i waste my days away and the times i do attempt something, it usually ends with failure or me giving up. i let problems pile up and i know that i will never do anything about them. yet despite all this i am not sad. i used to be, even as i knew it was ridiculous—the same way everything is ridiculous—but emotions aren't something you can really control. one day, the ridiculousness of everything hit me. i had always known it of course, but something inside me flipped, like a switch. life after that started not to seem that bad. i am still an emotional person, but i am content with the way. i try not to live life chasing happiness or striving for knowledge or career. i just be.
march 17, 2025
priscilla@xxxnoscopemlgxxx.com
a red panda. it is very cute.